Ground-breaking new study shows fast food slows you down

In a new study concluded this evening, Brian T. Johnson found that eating large amounts of fast food, drinking multiple energy drinks and getting little to no sleep slows the body down and generally makes one feel miserable.

Additionally, the study – in which Johnson served as both scientist and subject – found that ingesting Buffalo Wild Wings mere hours before playing midnight indoor soccer also contributed to poor physical performance and supreme sluggishness.

While the study results are clear, what’s unclear is why Johnson felt the need to challenge conventional wisdom for the sole purpose of documenting its validity in the form of personal experience.

Nevertheless, the empirical lesson learned is one he hopes to quickly capitalize on in the days and weeks ahead, by eating healthier and incorporating at least a semi-normal sleep routine. This as I post at 1:15 a.m…



Filed under Health Care, Science

2 responses to “Ground-breaking new study shows fast food slows you down

  1. Cherie

    Brian, is Thursday still 5o cent wing night?!

    Ya know, tried the same with pizza hut after my last marathon….double bad!

    I’ve got oodles to talk to you and your lady about! And one last question:

    If we are to have to all exchange with one currency, would wings still be 50 cents?

  2. shannonmcm

    heh. I just came across your blog while trying to figure out some things in my dashboard on wordpress.

    I think that while your findings may seem conclusive, you really may need to replicate the experiment…just to be sure. Perhaps, instead of eating Buffalo Wings, you could really take it to an unhealthy level and go to Taco Bell.

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